Heavy Boobs (feat. Rachel Bloom)


I got them heavy boobs, heavy
Boobs, dense like dying stars. I got them heavy boobs, heavy
Boobs, I can’t run real far. Let me break down what I just said Each of my double
D’s has the volume of a toddler’s Head. Not bitchin’ bout my boobies
They look super fly in shirts. But if I swung them in your face
You’d be like “omigod that hurts.” I’m blind. Holy crap. I literally can’t see. I have permanent retinal damage. I’m suing you and your heavy boobies. Heavy boobs. Heavy boobs. Dense
Like dying stars. I got them Heavy
Boobs, heavy boobs – They each have their own memoirs. What you gotta know is that boobs may be where it’s at But
If you cut them open they’re just Sacks of yellow fat. Stuff falls into
My bra, it’s a little bit of a drag (aah aah). But when I got to bed at night it’s
Like opening a Mary Poppins bag. Whee, candy and pennies! I got them heavy boobs, heavy Boobs, dense like dying stars. I got them heavy boobs, heavy
Boobs. Don’t need an airbag in
My car. Here is a list of all of the objects
That I can hold under my boobs: Stapler, 10 pencils, paperback
Copy of “Arabian Nights”, dog bowl, Remote control, hard back copy of
“Wuthering Heights”. See, when a star is dying it transforms into a red giant and if the red giant does not have enough mass to fuse carbon an inert mass of carbon and oxygen builds up in it’s center transforming into a dense white dwarf. And yeah, like, that’s my boobs, that’s
what my boobs are like. I got them heavy boobs, heavy Boobs, dense like a white dwarf. I got them heavy boobs, heavy
Boobs — They’d be a catch at Fishermans’
Wharf. I got them heavy boobs,
Heavy boobs. Don’t ever forget that these heavy
Boobs, heavy boobs are just sacks Of yellow fat. Like the stuffing
Of a couch. They’re just sacks of
Yellow fat. Technically meant to feed a baby. They’re just sacks of yellow fat. Oww! Oh, all of that swinging.

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