Deborah Sampson Cross-Dresses to Fight the British (feat. Evan Rachel Wood) – Drunk History


– Hello,
I’m Paget Brewster, and today we will be discussing
Deborah Sampson, the first woman
to take a bullet for America. – Cheers.
– Okay.In Plympton, MassachusettsDeborah Sampson becomesan indentured servantto Jeremiah Thomas.Lucky for her,Jeremiah was a fierce patriotand taught her
how to do everything
that other girls
weren’t being taught.
And so she grows up
to be an incredible badass.
So she’s thinking,
What the [bleep] am I gonna be?I want adventure.
I want to serve my country.
So, I think…
I think I want…
yeah, I wanna fight
in the Revolutionary War.
So, she sews a men’s outfit.She’s like, I’m gonna make
trousers…or britches–
trouser britches
and a waistcoat
and a–
– What’s a waistcoat?
– Waistcoat, I think is a… vest…coat? – Just a waste. – What?
– It’s just a waste. – [scoffs] You’re…
– Hmm? – You’re approaching dad humor, but you’re not a dad. – How do you know?
– Oh! Do you have a “bebe”? – [laughs] – Okay,
so she sews everything up,cuts her hair off.
She also has to take gauze
and strap her boobs down.– Was she like, Oh, my gauze?– What? – Was she like, Oh, my gauze? – Oh, my gauze. [sighs deeply]
Holy sh– – I’m just embracing
my fatherhood. – But, uh…
– [laughs]– So, Deborah Sampson
looks at this young man
and says,
my name’s Robert.
Robert Shirtliff.And they accept her…him…
into George Washington’s Army.– Wow.
– And she develops
an incredible reputation.All the other soldiers
are saying,
holy shit,
this Robert Shirtliff,
he’s a [bleep] badass.He’s right out in front.He’s the fastest runner
in the Army.
But at Terrytown,in the middle
of the Revolutionary War,
Robert–Deborah,
is fighting the British
and out of the blue,blam-o!
She gets shot in the thigh
with a musket ball.What the [bleep]?Deborah Sampson is historically
the first woman to take a bullet for America.The other soldiers are like,
Dude, Bobby,
Bobby Shirtliff,
you okay?
But she has to keep
her identity safe. So she’s like…
[groans]Yup, got this, got this.
I’m good.
You’re cool.
I’m cool.
[coughs]
That voice is hard.
– [laughs] – Okay.
Oh! This is where it gets crazy.She slinks off to the woodslike, [bleep] this.I cannot go to the hospital.I cannot let anyone find out
that I’m a woman.
So, she takes out a penknife,jams it into her thigh,[groans] shit!Gotta dig out
this musket ball.
Digs it out,
she’s like, well, shit,
I can sew.Sews it up and says,
America…
I care about you so much.Ugh, [bleep], I’m gonna cry.
I don’t wanna cry.
– Let it out, you can cry.– What the [bleep]?
I’m talking to America! – [laughs] – Okay, unfortunately,Deborah gets [bleep] crazy
fever sick.
Like…
[mumbles]
Can’t bu–bur–bah!Passed out, fever, [bleep] up.She’s hospitalized.The one thing
she’s been trying to avoid.
So, Dr. Barnabas Binney
is like,
Okay, here’s the soldier.Kinda a badass soldier.All right,
I’ll see what’s wrong.
Takes off Robert Shirtliff’s
clothing.
What?
There’s…
like…binding on the chest.Maybe there’s something
wrong there here.
Cuts it open,
boobs!And he…goes ohh…uh…okay.Uh, it’s so crazy
how it seems so easy when you’re so…ber to tell a story. – Mm-hmm. – Wait, where was I? Wait!
I know!So, he takes care of her
for seven months.
And she says, thank you
for taking care of me.
If there’s anything I can do
to repay your kindness,
please let me know.And he says, actually,
will you do me a favor
and take a letter to my friend
General John Paterson?
So, she delivers the letterto John Paterson.General says, thank you…young lady.He reads this letter
and looks at her and says,
Private…
Robert Shirtliff.
[dramatic music]Are you…a woman…pretending to be a man…to be a soldier?And she says,
General, I-I–
I only lied because
I wanted to serve my country.
Please don’t send me to jail.And he says, young lady,
I think what you’ve done
is better and braver
and stronger
than so many menand I’m gonna give you
a dishonorable–
I’m gonna give you–
sorry.
I’m gonna give you
an honorable discharge.
And then Paul Revere–
the [bleep] superstar
of the American Revolution–
is like,
I’m a big American hero,but I think
you’re the shit, babe.
[uplifting music]It’s incredible that
more than 200 years ago,
this woman wanted
to make a difference,so she becomes
this crossdressing,
bullet-digging badasswho fought her balls off–L-O-L.
No pun intended. – Hm,
who’s the dad joke now?♪ ♪[laughs]

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